Online dating is a great way to meet a good variety of people. There are times when you just hit it off with someone online and are anxious for that first meeting. You have exchanged emails, talked through instant message for hours and finally spoken on the phone. The conversations have been wonderful and you really have a lot in common with this person. Now comes the inevitable meeting. What if the person is not what you expected? Or worse, what if they are a disappointment?

Sometimes the strain of meeting face to face will do a significant amount of damage to the conversation. You should take this into consideration before you just reject the person out of hand. They may have been very nervous. Weren’t you nervous? But if that is not the case and you find the person you have been having an online relationship with is really not the person you want, there are some graceful ways to get out of the situation.

Make sure you don’t go on and on about your disappointment. This will only hurt the other person. Don’t focus on your expectations of the meeting and how they were not fulfilled. It is important to help the other person get through the rejection without being overly hurt. Some hurt will probably be unavoidable, especially if they had a wonderful time.

Try to explain how important it is to you to find the right person. You can also talk about how important that they find the right person for them. Explain how chemistry plays in the meeting of two people. They might actually agree with you. You are simply letting them know that they are not responsible but that there wasn’t any chemistry between you and that you feel they should meet someone who will have that feeling.

Don’t make up excuses. Just bite the bullet and get the rejection over with. It will be appreciated in the long run. No one likes to be lied to and the person you are rejecting does not deserve that kind of treatment. You will only make a bad situation worse by making up excuses.

You should absolutely mean what you say. Don’t try to couch your feelings on the subject. This can lead the other person to believe that you are still interested. Leave no doubt in their mind that you believe the relationship will not work. Many people make this mistake because they are trying to spare someone’s feelings. That is certainly admirable but don’t leave yourself open to causing more hurt feelings down the road.

Let them talk and tell you how they feel about the situation. They may be angry and hurt, but they should be able to express that emotion. If you let them tell you, you let them get that hurt and anger out.

Bottom line; use some sensitivity when dealing with the feelings of others.

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